The Resolute Woman

Category: friends

  • The first act of love

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    resolutewoman
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    I just took the time to read the introduction to Cheryl Strayed’s book Tiny Beautiful Things—Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar. In the introduction, Steve Almond says, “I happen to believe that America is dying of loneliness.” Almond praises Strayed’s online advice column because “she understands that attention is the first and final…

  • Pay attention

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    Linda Stone coined the term continuous partial attention to describe “the modern predicament of being constantly attuned to everything without fully concentrating on anything,” says James Fallows in an article called “The Art of Paying Attention” in the June 2013 issue of The Atlantic. In the article, Stone describes how play can help both children…

  • Wisdom from Maya Angelou

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    “If you could be remembered for one thing, what would that be?” Southwest Airlines Spirit magazine asked Maya Angelou in its May 2013 issue. “I’d like to be remembered for my kindness,” the poet answered.

  • Warm relationships

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    What matters most? Relationships, says George Valiant. Valiant, the author of a new book Triumphs of Experience, has been director of the Grant Study for more than three decades. The study, one of the longest-running longitudinal studies of human development, has followed 268 Harvard undergraduate men since 1938. “The 75 years and $20 million expended…

  • Be kind to one another

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    After a friend died, I received a note from his family. It thanked me for my kindness. On the front of the note card was a beautiful poem written by Naomi Shihab Nye. I’m sharing part of the poem: Before you know what kindness really is You must lose things, Feel the future dissolve in…

  • How suffering takes place

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    resolutewoman
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    A very good friend died yesterday, and I have been feeling sad and thinking about the sadness her family is feeling. Recently, when I heard Natasha Trethewey, this country’s poet laureate, read a poem by W.H. Auden on National Public Radio, I knew exactly what Auden was writing about. I listened and remembered clearly one…

  • The importance of listening

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    resolutewoman
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    I have laryngitis, and I have not been able to talk for five days. There is only one advantage to laryngitis. I have been reminded of the importance of listening. Because it is difficult to have a conversation when you can’t talk, I have been writing down a list of questions and then listening to…

  • Playing well with others

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    resolutewoman
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    When one rat is imprisoned in a tiny restrainer, a free rat circles and circles, scraping his teeth against the restrainer and poking his whiskers through its small openings. After five days, the free rat finally pushes a door with his head and frees the imprisoned rat. Stunned at first, the liberator jumps on the…

  • Are we alone together?

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    resolutewoman
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    After three people, including my husband, heard Sherry Turkle on National Public Radio on October 18, 2012, and told me about her new book, I looked up the Fresh Air interview online. In her book Alone Together, Turkle, a clinical psychologist and founder of MIT’s Initiative on Technology and Self, explores how technology is changing…

  • Listen and focus

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    resolutewoman
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    One morning when I was walking my dog, Ginger, I saw a neighbor and stopped to talk a few minutes. After she said goodbye and went into her house, I felt a little guilty because I had been talking to my neighbor, but I hadn’t been completely focused on the conversation. Instead, I had been…