Complain carefully

Julie, a woman who has developed good boundaries, knows that it’s healthy to confide in a close friend about problems she’s having with her supervisor at work. Talking to someone about how she feels about a colleague who was given a promotion that she thinks she deserves helps diffuse her anger. It also might help her figure out if the supervisor is really being unfair and if she should take some kind of action. Should she talk to her supervisor? Should she look for another job?

 However, Julie knows that it’s not professional or healthy to complain to the people she works with.

What are good boundaries?

If you have good boundaries, you usually make wise decisions about how much of yourself and your secrets you reveal to other people. You know it’s healthy to reveal more to a close friend and just a little to a colleague at work.

Also, people who “spill it all” often make other people feel uncomfortable. And, when other people feel uncomfortable, they often turn away from you or even avoid you. Think about how someone will react before you confide too much.

Why are good boundaries important?

Boundaries are invisible lines that define where you begin and where you end. They are very important. Not only do they separate you from other people, they also help define who you are.

You can read more about boundaries in this blog post.