Words can be abusive, too

“He practically trailed me around the house from morning until night, calling out my shortcomings,” the author writes. “He had developed an obsession with knobs and handles. It seemed that I turned them too hard or not hard enough. I over tightened the knobs on the shower and stripped them. I didn’t turn the knobs at the kitchen sink tightly enough, so they dripped….

“On and on and on it went. I didn’t place a coaster under my water glass. I parked my car in the driveway crooked. I shouldn’t be so friendly to the mailman because he could get the wrong idea. I shouldn’t be so friendly to the maid because it was good to keep a distance.”

The author is Dyan Cannon, fourth wife of Cary Grant, writing in her book Dear Cary—My Life with Cary Grant.

I saw Cannon perform last year in the play “Fox on the Fairway” at a dinner theater in Kansas City. After the play, she shared with the audience some of the good memories of her life with the handsome Grant.

However, in her book, Cannon finally tells her husband, “I’m not leaving you because I don’t love you. I’m leaving you to save my life.”

When I read about domestic violence, I usually think about men who hit their wives. Fayteen stresses that abuse can be physical, mental or emotional.
–Joy