I apologize

I was not the perfect mother of two children.

I confess that , more than once, I was not calm and reasonable. I yelled.

However, whenever I lost my temper, I always tried to apologize.

From a very early age, my son Jay learned how to make me feel even more guilty than I was feeling after losing my temper and yelling at him.

“That’s okay,” he would say. “I’m used to your yelling.”

(Our children, of course, know us so well and know exactly how to manipulate us and to make us feel good or feel bad.)

I apologized recently to Jay. Not for yelling, but for temporarily treating him like a 12 year old when he’s almost 22 years old.

When I sent him my apology in an e-mail message, he responded simply: “Thank you.”

I smiled. My son is no longer a child. He has grown into a young man who is mature and kind, and I am going to try to remember to treat him as a young adult.

However, if I forget, I will remember to apologize.

–Joy

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