For months, I’ve felt a little depressed every time I’ve looked at all of the boxes that we crammed into the garage when my husband and I moved into my mother’s house. Not anymore. We finally took the time to sort through the boxes, sending piles of clothes and miscellaneous items to a charity. I […]
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How did I build better boundaries?
by resolutewoman on May 31, 2012 in boundaries, Fayteen
I wish I had a simple answer. I don’t. For most of life’s big issues, there are simple answers that provide a glimpse of the truth. And, then, there are long answers that reveal the truth. I built better boundaries by getting to know myself, figuring out who I was and what I wanted to […]
What I learned about boundaries
by resolutewoman on May 29, 2012 in boundaries, Fayteen
When I was a child, we ate a farm breakfast before we rushed out of the house to catch the school bus—eggs and bacon or sometimes biscuits and gravy. At the same time that my brothers and I were climbing into the school bus, my parents were leaving the house and starting their daily chores. […]
What to do with a 13-year-old?
by resolutewoman on May 17, 2012 in children, Fayteen
My friend, worried about her 13-year-old son who doesn’t want to go to school, asked me for advice. I hesitated, remembering some of the complicated conflicts and issues I had with my two children when they were teenagers. Finally, I said, “Let’s call Fayteen and see what she has to say.” Fayteen, too, remembered the […]
Do you have good boundaries?
by resolutewoman on May 10, 2012 in boundaries, Fayteen
Many women come to me for counseling because they have bad boundaries. Some of them didn’t develop good boundaries as the result of physical abuse when they were children. They may have had parents who hit them, slapped them or said mean things to them. Even women who were never abused often are encouraged to […]
What would you take with you?
by resolutewoman on May 1, 2012 in clutter, Fayteen
I was busy, returning from a house that I am helping a client sell, but, on an impulse, I stopped at an estate sale. I was impressed by the house and also puzzled. It was still filled with beautiful, expensive furniture. I saw an elegant desk and stopped to inspect it, wishing I had room […]
Building better boundaries
by resolutewoman on April 17, 2012 in boundaries, Fayteen
When I was married to my first husband, I was still a pleaser. My ex-husband loved to tease me, and I hated to be teased. He once called me his “petite pachyderm” when I was pregnant, and I acted as if I thought he was funny even though I felt humiliated and angry. I was […]
Strong boundaries/weak boundaries
by resolutewoman on April 14, 2012 in boundaries, families, Fayteen
Joy called me and asked how I am doing and then all of a sudden I realized I was talking about how my daughter Ranna is doing. Why did I feel uneasy? Because I was not honoring the boundaries between myself and my adult daughter. Ranna was listening to my phone conversation, and she understood […]
I danced an Irish jig
by resolutewoman on April 12, 2012 in cancer, families, Fayteen
What do you say when the nurse calls and tells your daughter that she is cancer-free? Words, of course, can never express the relief and happiness I felt. I didn’t say anything. After 15 months of watching Ranna battle cancer and trying my best to help her and sometimes fearing the worst, how could I […]
What if someone is critical of you?
by resolutewoman on March 8, 2012 in boundaries, Fayteen
On my first date after my divorce, I went swimming with a handsome young man. Because I knew that I was still vulnerable and my self-esteem was low, I wanted to look my best. I wore a modest two-piece bathing suit. It was pink with lace, and I was sure that I looked my best. […]
What’s this site about?
We wrote our book and we’re writing our blog because we were frustrated. We were frustrated with experts who try to tell people how to lose weight, raise their children and improve their marriages—and be a success—in 10 easy steps. In three weeks. In one book.
Our self-help book and blog are for grownups—for women who know that there are no easy answers to life’s complex problems—that finding solutions requires some self-knowledge and self-searching and hard work.
We want to help women discover their own answers and live with them as their guide. We want to help you and other women Help Yourself!
We write about making changes and also about many other issues important to women, including families, friends, work and food.
